This guy might be one of the biggest trolls
in the Internet reviewing game, to the point where he has kind of made a
running joke out of he tried tricking the audience into thinking his show was
ending… and yeah, some of us fell for it. But, with that said, this guy kind of
shows the more positive side of trolling; you know, where it only goes into the
realms of goofy fun and doesn’t reach the point of teeth-grinding hatefulness
that some others do (*cough*Dramatica*cough*). So, in tribute to one of the
most entertainingly lethargic presences on the Internet, here are my picks for
the 20 best episodes of Phelous… or Phelous And The Movies… or Phelous Filmio
Films… or that show with no name. See what I mean about messing with audiences?
#20:
Hoboween 2
I have a real soft spot in my heart for
Phelous’ rendition of Michael Myers, and it’s probably here that he gets the
most to do with that character. Probably the funniest moment of the film is
when we get Phelous’ reaction to one of Michael’s more confounding fashion
choices, a reaction that fuels one of the bigger cries of lame movie despair of
his entire videography.
#19:
Pulselous
The start of a long stint of reviews with
the word ‘Pulse’ somewhere in their title, Phelous points out how weirdly
depressed the main character is and makes a pretty good running gag involving
intercutting Louie The Lightning Bug into the rather cartoonish acts done by
the electricity. Yeah, this is a film where electricity is sentient and wants
to kill people. I had a joke for that sentence, but I’m not telling it!
#18:
TMNT: Gettin’ Down And Depressed In Your Town
What’s weirder than knowing that the Ninja
Turtles had a concert tour back in the day? The fact that they also did a sequel tour, complete with video
evidence. Even with how much Phelous begrudgingly liked some of the songs from
Coming Out Of Their Shells, this is a whole mess of unintentional misery that
is desperately trying to convince people that other people liked it.
#17:
Phailaddin
Starting out on one of Phelous’ more
traditionally trolly introductions, complete with Captain Explainy-pants, he
points out just how bad of a transfer the DVD itself is and how… incidentally
perverted some of the animation is. His reactions to some of the lamer jokes
are good and angry as well.
#16:
In The Name Of The Phelous 2: Lundgren 2 The Crisp
Not his first, nor his last, encounter with
Uwe Boll, one of the biggest trolls in the history of cinema, there’s just
something inherently funny about the alternate character voice he gives Dolph
Lundgren for the review. That, and I find myself giggling at the “Crispality”
line at random points in my day-to-day life.
#15:
TMNT Top 40 Dumbest Moments
Highlighting one of his favourite shows by
going over some of its worst moments. Sounds a bit odd to begin with but,
unlike a lot of videos that showcase the weaker bits of their favourite thing,
this list manages to keep Phelous’ genuine appreciation for the show in
question at the forefront. Even when he gets into idiocy like Mad Dog McMutt and
“Krang, Goddess of love!”, you can tell that this all comes from a honest
place.
#14:
Birdphemic: Silly And Terrible
Phelous already has an… interesting
approach to comedy, and it only seems to get exacerbated when the film he’s
looking at is equally… interesting. As such, across both parts of this review,
he gives a fairly good run-through of just how much cinematic wrong this thing contains.
#13:
Mortal Phombat 2: Anniphelation
As a major Mortal Kombat fan, with his
previous video showcasing how much the original film actually did right, you
can see that a lot of the fan outrage on his part is real. It’s seriously weird
when the guy he cast to play Raiden in his Mortal Komedy series is a better choice than the one in this big
budget Hollywood film.
#12:
Bloodphayne
Yet another encounter with the cinematic
sauerkraut Uwe Boll, this definitely shows Phelous at his best as he brings so
much of the just plain awful in this film to the forefront. Sure, with someone
like Boll, a lot of these are pretty dang obvious on their own, but the tidbits
he brings up are the kind that creep into the subconscious with how bizarre
they are. I will forever be seeing Uwe Boll’s wristwatch.
#11:
Foodfight!
Hands down, the best review of the film
which considering how many people would end up trying to slice into it is quite
a feat. A team-up between Phelous, Obscurus Lupa and Brad Jones (out of his
Snob character), this review has an awful lot of derpy moments between the
three of them but it’s also one of the more informative reviews for the film
out there. Beyond just going into the infamous ‘industrial espionage’ that went
on behind the scenes for the film, they even bring some of director Larry
Kasanoff’s ‘brilliant’ directing choices to the forefront as well. Needless to
say, you can see how someone with so little understanding of animated films
could make something this horrendous.
#10:
The Phoogeywoogey Kickin’ It Sunday School
“Yes, she’s been possessed… by Gremlins!”,
the king of all derp faces that he pulls in one cutaway, “Confused yet? Well,
don’t worry”; this is one of those videos where there are just too many good
one-offs in a single package for it not
to make this list. Even with how weird his Boogeyman collection of reviews
would get, this without a doubt is the high point of that grouping.
#9:
Phelous Is Skinned Deep
One of Phelous’ early reviews that, even
with how much he’d improve over the next few years, still holds up next to his
recent material. His ‘Phelous fun facts’ bring out the insanity behind the
camera to match that which is in front of it, his tearing apart of the plot
holes is fun as always and it marks the first, and best, iteration of his “I’m
having a hard time reading the script” gag.
#8:
The Phairkara Zone Solution
This video’s opinion has flipped around a
lot with me over the last couple years, going from being one of the worst
videos Phelous has done to one of his best. As you can probably tell by now,
it’s stuck in the latter category at the moment. I think it’s because it takes
a certain frame of mind to take in the way that Phelous and Linkara’s senses of
humour go together, along with cameos from Lupa, Brad and even 8-Bit Mickey,
but when you’re in that frame, their take on this very environmentally
disjointed production is quite entertaining.
#7: Slap
Across Phelous’ Eyes
Even Phelous’ deadpan routine breaks under
the pressure of certain films. This is such a film, resulting in easily one of
the biggest showcases of aggro in Phelous’ entire videography. The
nausea-inducing camera, the shrill acting, the complete nonexistence of any
form of plot; as you watch them unfold along with him, you start to sympathize
with him on just how infuriating this film is.
#6:
Man’s Best Phriend
It’s a film about a genetically engineered
super-dog that, for reasons that I hope never to understand, features rape. I…
have no idea how the hell this review didn’t just die as soon as that infamous
scene took place, but Phelous is one of those people that make even that kind of brain-melting stuff
tolerable. Sure, he has that whole ‘rape horn’ running gag that, have to admit,
is pretty funny, but this manages to transcend even the powers of that clip…
and yet it’s still hilarious all the way through. Must have something to do
with Phelous’ derpy dog voice.
#5:
Jack Phroest
It says something about Phelous’ review
choices where he has to go this far
out there, with a film about a serial killer snowman, to officially enter the
realms of ‘weird’ for his wheelhouse. He cuts down its horror elements, along
with its failed comedic elements, and while the sequel would certainly get
weirder in many different ways (somehow making the video game-related sequel I
thought up for the movie as a kid look like genius by comparison), Phelous does
a far better job of conveying the ridiculous on this one.
#4:
Phinculous
A thriller starring Tara Reid? Sign me up!
Or, at the very least, sign me up for the review where Phelous turns a single
idiotic moment involving cell phone signals into a running joke that is almost
TripleDent Gum-levels of brilliant in its execution. Add to that the various
varieties of dumb/dull/Tara Reid character moments and the classic horror film
idiocy of the entire production, and you have one of Phelous’ most solid
reviews. And yet, it wouldn’t even be the best to come out of his lengthy stint
of ‘Pulse’ reviews.
#3:
PulselousDotCom.Com 3
That would have to be this one, a threequel
so brain-numbing in just how much of it doesn’t make sense, I’m still surprised
that no-one from the Divergent films were involved in making it. Phelous’
reactions to the sheer nonsense on screen, not to mention how much it seems to
be flat-out ignoring everything that came before it (including its own scenes),
are very on-point and it makes for a great amount of catharsis. Oh, and the Angry
Joe cameo is alright, I guess.
#2:
Phelous And Me Review
Through little jokes here and there,
Phelous has very much given the air that he is not particularly proud of his
very first review. He goes to tremendous lengths to show how much didn’t work
about his own video, from his awkward delivery to the reasons behind said delivery, and yet through
all of it it doesn’t come across as hokey in any way, especially for someone
who is as big a troll as Phelous. Instead, it highlights his uncanny knack for
self-introspection that I honestly think ended up influencing me a lot in my
approach to reviewing films, blended with his deadpan snarks that almost serve
as a RiffTrax on his own video.
#1:
Phelous’s Ladder
Like his “review” of Twilight, this was
meant to pull a fast one on the audience. Unlike
that other review, I actually fell for this one. Also unlike that other review,
this video has a lot of merit to it outside of that bit of trolling. It’s weird
for this to be the product of a guy who spends so much time mocking the very of
idea of storylines in internet reviews, because this might easily be one of the
single best storyline videos I’ve seen from any reviewer. It builds on some
remarkably subtle build-up from the last several months of videos, and it relies
heavily on a moment from one of his earliest. And yet, neither is really needed
to get the complete effect of this video, where Phelous goes about as far as
any reviewer could potentially go in terms of plot with a very hard-hitting
finale… until his next video, of course.
Time to take a trip from the fields of
Canada (do they have fields? I wouldn’t know) to the shores of the UK as we
take a look at a reviewer that… reminds me of myself in so many ways that I
wish he wouldn’t.
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